The Laundry Girl Pt. 2

One of the greatest experiences of my life was being in a play in the spring of 2012. It was a large cast (like 17 people) so each person didn't get much time on-stage, but the fact that there were so many people made it even better. Surprisingly, I actually knew 3 people going in to the play

BUT there was one girl whom I was apparently supposed to know. While I was talking to Jack and Kier one day, I discovered that they had a friend in a play. And it was the SAME PLAY. Go figure!

I met Ashley in the Math Lab. It was one of those days when you just bake cookies and bring them in to work hoping that maybe someone will be audacious enough to ask for one and then also appreciate my baking enough to become my friend. You know, one of those days.

Best first impression ever? I think so. You see, I make these lovely things that one of my friends dubbed "crack-cocaine cookies" because of their incredible addictive qualities. And truly, several of my friends back home are legitimately addicted! Sometimes I think they only want me home so that I can make cookies for them.

Anyway, Ashley thoroughly enjoyed a cookie (or three) before she and Jack and Kier headed off to watch Avatar or some equally awesome nonsense. Needless to say, I was pretty impressed.

After that, we were pretty much instantly friends, and then suddenly awesome friends. We chatted a lot during rehearsals and I baked her a Skyrim-themed cake for her birthday. It didn't take long at all before I realized something extraordinary.

In her scene, Ashley enters with a laundry basket and proceeds to do laundry.

Yes, there was a GIRL doing LAUNDRY. A Laundry Girl.

Oh my God. I was in the presence of one of the most influential figures of my lifetime several times a week. There was no one I could tell except Mushel, so I began the extended process of making him extremely jealous that I had met the girl of his dreams.

As time went on and we hung out more and more, I began to understand the true epicness of my situation.

Ashley loves Avatar, as I do. She is into video games (SKYRIM) and nerdy books (aSoIaF). She still plays Pokemon, albeit on an emulator and with a 5000% frame rate. She is a big anime fan, and more importantly and specifically, a Naruto fan.

These are all things one might expect an average person to do though. The scariest thing I learned about Ashley was that she will sometimes use the word "cuso" as an expletive. Sounds weird, but it's the biggest revelation I've ever experienced.

See, Mushel and I are mocked as the two fools of the group who go around screaming "SI" and "CUSOOOOO" at each other, an odd sort of behavior that I never imagined would pop up in anyone else's life naturally.

You can imagine my elation when I mentioned this to Ashley and discovered that she was like me. It was like the world was just toying with me, trying to see just how much awesome relevant stuff it could cram into one person before she exploded in a million pieces of pure amazingness.

I'm almost frightened to see how far these Laundry Girl traits go. It's already better than I could possibly imagine, maybe it'll just turn out that the Laundry Girl was ME THE WHOLE TIME.

No, get out of here you M. Night Shyamalan, no one wants you and your Pandemic ways.

So now Ashley and I are best of friends. At first I didn't tell her anything about any of this, but now she is fully aware of her destiny as Laundry Girl. I think she has come to terms with it quite well, and I think it's really gonna open a lot of doors for her. It'll probably go something like this...

Oh, are you applying to be a detergent engineer at our prestigious company? Well, you know we require a 5 year background in being a badass.

I see, well that shouldn't be a problem because I'M LAUNDRY GIRL!!!

Hm, you want to fly this fabric-softener-powered plane effectively saving a whole bunch of people and becoming a hero? Well, I don't think you have the proper qualifications for that.

Yeah actually I think I do because I'm LAUNDRY GIRL!!!

Excuse me, I'm a giant rolling boulder of lint and I'm going to crush you beneath my navy, hairball girth. Don't even try to escape because I will cling to ANYTHING.

No I think I'll just pull out my trusty bullwhip of crazy rad-ness and completely deny your efforts.
Do you know why?
I'll tell you.
Because...

I'M LAUNDRY GIIIIIIIIIIIIRL!!!!!

Yup, life should be pretty great for you from now on, Ashley. Congratulations!

Good luck to you Laundry Girl, I know you're going to treat your new title with the dignity it deserves. I'm so proud to call you my friend, thanks for confirming that even the most ridiculous and far-fetched dreams do come true!